Bullying is never and will never be okay. And justifying it is just as horrifying as the actual deed.
Okay, first of all, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I’m a saint because I’m not, not even close. But I’m also not going to sit here and just continue watching people belittle and diminish the feelings of a bullied person.
Most people think that the little things that we do don’t matter; that just because we’re not actually physically hurting a particular someone, we’re not really bringing them pain. But that’s where we’re wrong. That’s where our ignorance about the matter comes from.
People have been talking about 13 Reasons Why since its release on Netflix last March 31st. Some people liked it and thought it was a good TV show. Some people were able to relate to it more than the others. Some people saw it as a huge eye-opener and one that made them think about the things that they do to other people.
But some people just either did not give a damn or did not get the point of it at all.
If you have read the book and have watched the show, then you’d know that one of the biggest differences between the two is the timeline and pacing. The book happened in one night, with Clay listening to the tapes while going around town to the spots that Hannah mentioned in her tapes and pointed out in the map she provided. The series, on the other hand, is set to a few weeks, where Clay took too damn long to finish listening to the tapes.
In spite of the fact that the series was indeed, admittedly, dragging, we all can learn the same things from both.
As a once-bullied person, I can relate to Hannah’s thoughts and feelings 100%. Although what they did to Hannah was not exactly the same as what people did to me, it still hit too close to home. And for someone—anyone—to say that what Hannah felt was nothing more than her being an over-dramatic teen absolutely gets on my nerves.
We have all moved on from high school. Great.
We’re all adults here. Great.
We have forgotten the shit that we did to other people in high school and it was such a long time ago so let’s just not bring the past back. Not so great.
You don’t just move on, you remember and you learn.
You remember the times you shoved that person in the lockers or in the bathroom stalls just because you felt like doing it. You remember the times you spread a hideous rumor about her just because you thought it was funny. You remember the times you laughed at her just because you thought she was ugly or a little weird. You remember the times you talked about that person behind their backs just because you had nothing better to talk about with your friends.
You remember all those times, and then you learn from them. You take them with you to your grave. And when you can, you pass it on to others. You teach them and make them understand that it’s never okay to do such shitty things to other people just because we are bored, or we are going through shit ourselves so we make it a point to make the lives of the others as miserable as ours, or simply just because.
And when you remember and you learn, never justify. Don’t make excuses for the shit that you did to other people. Don’t make it seem like it’s their fault or someone other than yours. Own up to what you did and apologize because you may have not realized it at the time and you probably don’t realize it until now, but you did hurt people.
It’s saddening that some people think that suicide or hurting one’s self is just this person wanting to get attention or being a complete drama queen. The fact that someone can think that is not only baffling but alarming and disturbing.
You don’t understand. You probably never will understand the gravity of what a simple act can do to a person. Good for you if you’ve never been the bullied. But don’t add any more to our already fucked up society by being an ignorant prick and please, please, please have a heart and be a decent person.
No matter how little the actions are, no matter how we think we are not bringing misery and pain to those around us, know that we are. And that’s the main point of 13 Reasons Why—every little thing matters. Everything that we do, everything that we say, they affect people. For some, the effect is grave and unbearable. And for others, it’s what pushes them off that edge.
Stock photos from Pexels.